Uncontrollable!

Hi all,

Spreading my thoughts here late night. I've been too busy w/ things lately till I neglected my own journal blog. Am working a permanent PM shift till late night. Once I reach home, definitely I will sleep or playing my Candy Crush game. Even to have time w/ Y also can't make it. What can I say here, we are drifting due to our working schedules. He's working permanently AM while me PM. And now, he rarely fetching me from work. Can't expect more, he's working his ass off for the neighborhood area.

Back then, working life are being bitch towards me lately. With the OJT around and am the only senior there who needs to look after all this Part-Timers or maybe newbies. Some people are being so understanding & patience. But for me I can't! Just expressing my thoughts here & there's no issues w/ anyone else, FYI. I've been having ON & OFF fever since last week. Despite that, still am dragging my feet to work. Like last week, w/ haze around Singapore all. Of course our immune system will be down, like mine. With a few pieces of bad news: my aunt passed away, then followed by my close friend, and recently my cousin's grandmother. Losing 3 person in a month is NO joking! Yet my workplace is trying to be bitch by not being understanding at all.

Well, I just go with the flow though am not happy until things happened today. Was feeling sick since yesterday (Tuesday) and told Y that I am really weak. He told me to take a day off (MC) but I don't want cause' of money wise of course. So dragging my feet aimlessly to work. Trying to act normal when actually I am NOT. Yes, am the type of person who doesn't like to show things happened to me unless I really cannot control it. This is what happened, after being sicked on Tuesday. I decided not to go work since I didn't sleep well on Tuesday night. I took an initiative to text my in-charged about I can't make it to work. BECAUSE my fever temperature from 38° Degrees jump to 40° Degrees. Arr kau tak terkejut. My body shivering, and called Y to bring me to the clinic.

I thought after seeing the doctor & texting her (in-charged) things will be okay. But instead of that. I received a sarcastic replied from her. Fuhhh baek ar, aku tgh sakit lagi nak buat aku bingit. Bukan aku nak sakit ape. Da kena marah dengan doctor abeh dapat sarcastic reply lagi. Double the pain la, no actually triple! 1st blood test: shows that I suspected dengue. 2nd test: there's bacteria in my blood cells. And the doctor scold me for not seeing any clinics nearby. Am too busy w/ work that's why la. Too commited w/ work wrong, going to the doctor late also wrong. Life hard!

But whatever it is, hopefully I will be better soon! Am flying off this Saturday. 2 more days! Supposedly, I can't go out from Singapore due to the weather. Still, In Shaa Allah trip will be better. Relaxing my mind away from hard life.

Ps: If I can run and swap the company am now to better company w/o feeling guilty kan bagus?

xoxo